The Devil Wears Nada

In "The Devil Wears Nada", Marge Simpson once again sheds off her clothes for the camera.  After drinking a couple too many wines at a charity calendar photo shoot, Marge Simpson poses provocatively for an European photographer.

The intent of the Charity Chicks calendar was to raise money for a fundraiser headed by Marge and her friends.  Originally, the calendar was supposed to feature each one of Marge and her friends, including Luann Van Houten (Milhouse' mom).  But Marge's drunken sexy poses end up being in every single month of the calendar.

A classic line from the episode: 

Comic book guy:  Here comes the woman who made February the hottest month of the year.

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70s Recreation

Click to see animation

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Hot Betty (Part 3)

So the endless debate: in Gilligan's Island, Ginger vs. Mary Ann, and in the Flintstones, Wilma vs. Betty. In both, I take the not as obviously hot, girl-next-door. The brunette over the fiery redhead. The shy one over the flirt.

Wilma might have been the center of attention, but behind closed doors, Betty has a hidden side just waiting to come out.

Betty was a hottie. She loved her mail-order lingereie
from Fredricks of Hollyrock.

Betty had a thing for Fred ever since
she met him at Bedrock High

Betty wanted to show Fred a few tricks she'd read about.

Betty loved Fred's "bone" and she was very skilled at giving "bone jobs."

Fred's bone was too large for her bum, but she tried anyway.

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Fred Catches Wilma and Betty, Then Joins in (Part 2)

Life in Bedrock could get pretty dull. As the two husbands spent their days at the quarry, and out bowling and at the Water Buffalo Lodge, Wilma and Betty were often left to themselves. They found ways to entertain themselves to take their mind off of the repetitive mind-numbing housework.

Wilma was often bored at home

Sometimes she and Betty would discuss sex toys
and order new ones in the mail. "This Dong is so big,"
said Betty, "Must be like Fred."
"Yes," Wilma sighed, "but sometimes a nice small cock
like Barney's would be nice."

Some times the wives would test out the toys on each other. 

Wilma was used to a large bone.

Sometimes Wilma and Betty didn't use toys at all, 

but just enjoyed each other's bodies. 

They didn't tell their husbands how they spent their weekdays.

Eventually Fed found out.

He came in and joined them.

Wilma didn't mind sharing her man as long as she could
still join in.

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Flintstones, Meet the Flintstones. (Part 1)

The Flintstones celebrate their 50th Anniversary today. Hard to imagine anyone in America not knowing about the Flintstones. What, you been living under a rock?

If you don't know, their a "modern stone age family" from the town of Bedrock. They drive stone cars peddled with their feet, eat brontosaurus burgers at the drive thru, and live in a ranch-style stone home in a typical stone age suburb. Fred Flintstone and his best friend Barney Rubble work at the rock quarry, are on the bowling league for their recreation, and are members of the Loyal order of Water Buffalos. At the end of a long day, they come home to their loving wives, Wilma and Betty. And of course Dino, the dog-like dinosaur. They're a classic all-American family reflective of the values of the era. Not the stone age, but the  1960-1966. 

Based fairly directly on the classic TV show the Honeymooners, the Flintstones became a hit. It aired originally in primetime, was sponsored by Winstone cigarettes, and was the first animated series to show a couple sleeping in the same bed. Although far tamer by today's animated series such as the Simpsons, South Park, and Family Guy, the Flintstones had a definite sexual undertone. Fred and Barney and Wilma and Betty formed a tight suburban foursome, living not only next door, but seemingly so closely integrated into each other's lives that they were "more than just friends."

Even as a kid, there seemed to be some strange sexual tension in the power dynamic. Fred was a loving husband and best friend, but quick to anger. The dominant male over both his wife and his buddy Barney. Barney was the shorter sidekick, passive to Fred's testosterone. As the couples played cards together, went to the movies together, dined together on double dates, there was always a sense that at any point they could carry that into the bedroom. Spice up their suburban life.

I always thought that Betty, married to the passive and diminutive Barney, might be attracted to the larger, more bull-like Fred, while Wilma, tired of Fred's boorish nature, might turn to the more sensitive and gentle Barney.

Both Wilma and Betty seemed to be real hotties. Probably married by age 20, they were certainly still young and attractive. It was clear that either Fred or Barney would be stoked to bed either of them.

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AFTER BEDTIME

After the kids have gone to bed, sometimes Homer and Marge feel a little frisky, and a little daring. Nothing keeps the sex life sparked like sneaking a quickie on the couch.

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SIMPSON SEX TAPE

Homer and Marge decided to make a little home movie.

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SIMPSON "SNUGGLES"

I love in the Simpsons how Marge and Homer are always suggesting "snuggles." I find it refreshing that a show like the Simpsons can be so bold as to suggest a couple, married for many years with three kids, can and do enjoy an active sex life. Of course, the TV show never shows exactly what "snuggles" entails, but this may be the most accurate depiction ever.

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HAPPY TOGETHER

This had turned out to be the best mystery yet. Velma had started by seducing Fred, the good-looking leader of their gang. That lead to a 3-way with Fred and his girlfriend Daphne. Then the girls seduced Shaggy and had another 3-way. Then Velma and Shaggy had an anal quickie on the stairs of the haunted mansion. And when Velma told Daphne about it, Daphne pulled out her strap-on and the girls had some more fun.

Velma's head was spinning and her knees were weak. She felt like she'd expereinced everything sexual she possibly could. Until she was outside in the spooky woods with both Fred and Shaggy. Suddenly she realized she wanted to feel Shaggy fuck her in her ass again, while she sucked on Fred's beautiful cock.

Now that everyone in the gang has slept with everyone, in every combination, they're happy and ready for more mysteries to solve.

Scooby-dooby-doo!

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VELMA AND DAPHNE

Velma couldn't wait to tell her best friend Daphne about the quickie she had with Shaggy and how she'd discovered that she loved anal sex.

This news turned Daphne on, and she knew just what her friend needed.

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SOLVING MYSTERIES


While solving a mystery, Velma can't help but think back a few days ago when she and Daphne hooked up with Shaggy. Shaggy had put it in her butt, somethign she hadn't expected, and even more surprising, she loved it. She couldn't wait to feel him in her ass again, so they had a quickie on the stairs of the haunted mansion.

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THE GIRLS INVITE SHAGGY

Having enjoyed themselves with Fred, the girls don't want to make good old Shaggy feel left out.

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DAPHNE JOINS IN

When Fred told Daphne what had happened on the couch, she wasn't jealous at all. In fact, she liked girls as much as boys. She loved both Fred and Velma very much and didn't mind sharing. They solved crimes together, why not share everything?

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VELMA MAKES A MOVE ON FRED


When it came time to solve a mystery, Fred and Daphne were always going off separately. Scooby and Shaggy were always sneaking off to have some "scooby snacks." Velma always felt left out. She suspected that Fred and Daphne had a little thing going, but she wasn't sure. While she and Fred were hanging out, she decided to make a move.

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LOOKING FOR CLUES

While trying to solve a mystery, the gang encounters online porn. They are shocked and baffled, but Velma is secretly aroused and it gives her new ideas...

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VELMA'S SECRET

Velma always seemed like the nerdy librarian type. Dressed in a sweater and glasses, she was always eclipsed by the cheerleader-looks of her best friend Daphne. But the truth is, underneath the loose-fitting orange sweater, Velma has a surprise for the gang. We'll share her secret in this blog. Don't change that channel...

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SIMPSONS QUICKIE

Marge surprises Homer at work and they enjoy a quickie.

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POLICE RAID SPRINGFIELD KWIK-E-MART IN SEX STORE STING

SPRINGFIELD--The latest image to emerge in Simpson sex scandal, shows Marge Simpson, wife of Homer Simpson, at an adult gloryhole. Police Chief Clancy Wiggum shut down Kwik-E-Mart, where proprietor Apu Nahasapeenapetilon had been running an alleged covert glory hole in the storage closet.

The image seized by police shows Mrs. Simpson in a compromising position. The penis in the image is alleged to be that of store owner Nahasapeenapetilon. “I have very loyal customers,” said Nahasapeenapetilon. “They come for the squishees, I don’t know anything else.”

Numerous Springfield residences sited that Mr. Nahasapeenapetilon enjoyed a brief period as Springfield's leading ladies' man following a bachelor auction in November1997. Witnesses say he spent the days following the auction on a whirlwind of dates. Mr. Nahasapeenapetilon’s dates reportedly ceased when his mother announced his arranged marriage to a woman named Manjula. The two were legally married in Springfield that year.

Mr. And Mrs. Nahasapeenapetilon are the parents of octuplets: Anoop, Uma, Nabendu, Poonam, Priya, Sandeep, Sashi, and Gheet.

Friends of the Nahasapeenapetilon report that the couple had a mostly happy marriage, despite marital problems caused by Mr. Nahasapeenapetilon’s long hours at the Kwik-E-Mart, and the strain of caring for eight children. However rumors of infidelity were frequent, sources say. Following an infidelity to his wife, Mr. Nahasapeenapetilon legally change his name to Slime Q. Slimedog, as ordered by Manjula.

Rumors surfaced of an illegal sex booth in the Kwik-E-Mart, after reports of strange noises emanating from the storage closet. Springfield police were issued a search warrant from Judge Constance Harm. The Qwik-E-Mart video survelence tapes as well as photographs were seazed in the raid. Authorities have yet to make a formal report, but Chief Wiggum stated, “We are looking into it. Yes…looking into all of it. Very carefully.”

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HOMER SIMPSON AFFAIR WITH COUNTRY STAR
New image turn up, homer affair with Lurleen Lumpkin not plutonic.

SPRINGFIELD--The Lurleen Lumpkin affair began in March, 1992, after a reported quarrel between Homer and Marge Simpson, regarding Mr. Simpson’s public disruption at a movie theater. Witnesses say that following the marital dispute, Mr. Simpson was seen the Beer 'N' Brawl, where waitress Lurleen Lumpkin was performing on stage.

Several days later, Simpson was spotted at the mobile home park where Lumpkin lived. The two were then seen at a recording studio, where Lumpkin recorded her first song. The song received airplay on the Springfield station.

Mr. Simpson publicly announced his relation to Lumpkin as her manager. “He bought an expensive white cowboy suit which he wears at home,” said Mrs. Simpson. Mrs. Simpson reported that she was upset with her husband’s involvement in the career of the rising country star, and inquired if he was having an affair.

The Simpson family gathered at the recording studio with Lumpkin to record more of her songs. Her second single, "Bagged Me a Homer", lead Marge to gnash her teeth in anger, eye-witnesses reported.

Mr. Simpson booked Lumpkin a gig on country western television series Ya-Hoo!. Sources report that prior to her performance, Mr. Simpson and Lumpkin spent the night in her mobile home, where she performed her latest song, “Bunk with me tonight.” Mr. Simpson claims that he refused the sexual advances of Ms. Lumpkin.

During her television performance, Mr. Simpson was approached by a business agent seeking to buy Lumpkin’s contact. Homer refused, the agent claimed. After a brief private discussion in the dressing room of Ms. Lumpkin, Mr. Simpson returned to the agent and sold Lumpkin’s contract for $50.

“We watched the Ya-Hoo! show at home together that evening, in bed, naked,” said Mrs. Simpson. Ms. Lumpkin publicly stated that Homer had refused her advances, adding, she hopes Marge knows how lucky she is. “We thought everything was settled then,” said Mrs. Simpson.

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SIMPSON VACATION PICTURES SURFACE
Simpson Trip to Miami turns up new photos in Simpsons Sex Scandal

SPRINGFIELD—New photos of Homer and Marge Simpson have turned up in the latest of a series of scandals that have surrounded the popular television family. The photos have been connected to a 2004 trip the couple made to Miami.

The couple had told their children, Bart and Lisa Simpson, that they were going to Dayton, Ohio, to celebrate Uncle Tyrone's birthday. At the airport, witnesses say that Mr. And Mrs. Simpson noticed a line of passengers dressed in Hawaiian shirts and skimpy tops, departing for Miami. The couple forego the visit to Uncle Tyrone and get on the plane to Miami as a second honeymoon.

“We never would have suspected anything,” said daughter Lisa. The children were watching television with their grandfather, Abraham Simpson, when they saw that the hotel in Dayton where Mr. and Mrs. Simpson were supposed to be staying had been completely wiped out by a tornado. A call from Mrs. Simpson informed them that all was well, stating, "Just checking in." Suspicious, Bart used last-call return to find out the last incoming phone number and discovered his parents were in Miami.

The children convinced their grandfather to take them to Miami, promising him that many single beautiful pensioners would be available. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson reportedly saw their children waiting for them outside their hotel room door, and fled. Bart and Lisa Simpson pursued them in to a series of location.

The photos of Mr. and Mrs. Simpson reveal the couple at the beach in various compromising sexual situations. An employee of the hotel is said to have posted the photos online, where they have been circulated.

“What two people do on their vacation is their own bees-wax,” Mrs. Simpson told reporters.

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