MARGE SIMPSON ISSUES PUBLIC STATEMENT
With recent discovery of Playdude issue, Marge Simpson issues public statement.

SPRINGFIELD—“Why do people have to be such snoopy-poopies?” Marge Simpson, wife of Homer Simpson of Springfield, and star of the popular television series, The Simpsons, said today in a public announcement. “All the Simpson’s look forward to things returning to normal.”

When rumors arose of a “lost” issue of Playdude magazine featuring Marge posing nude, a mob of angry Springfield citizens gathered before city hall to demand Mrs. Simpson resign from the popular television series depicting life in their town. “Now let’s not get rash, people,” called Mayor Quimby. “We can’t go uncovering every sex scandal in this town.”

Mrs Simpson stood before the assembled crowd and exposed herself. “You are all such a bunch of lookie-loo’s, well, take a look! Satisfied?!”

Rev Lovejoy said that even though Mrs. Simpson was “ wicked” that the town should forgive and move past the recent events.